Stephy Marconi

Sunday, December 30, 2012

A tribute to "Mama"


That’s what I have been privileged to call her since before the day I married her son… and I have not been the only one. Aside from her four boys she has actually been “mama” to countless neighbourhood kids and international students throughout the years. Her door and her heart have always, always been open - to anyone.

She is steadfast, loyal and unswerving in faith. True to the bit o’ Ireland in ‘er… and maybe even a wee bit fiery when the day calls for it. She is precious… and she is one of the strongest women I know.

I watch her interact with her sons and I know there can’t a weak bone in her body. She don’t take no guff from nobody! Perhaps that’s the only way she survived four boys. Yet at the same time, she is just the truest and gentlest form of “mother.” I know that because of her boys and their unreserved love for her.

She has an uncanny ability to hear what hasn't been said. She listens with both ears if you know what I mean… and recognizes the struggling emotions underneath. Her children know that she is listening - really listening… and it matters. This is just one of the many ways that she has, without any conscious effort, taught me how to better love her son. In times when I haven’t known how to help him, I would invite her over and just quietly observe how she loves him. She teaches me much more than she probably knows.

She is a woman of great faith in God. Her relationship with Him is in no way put on. His love is very evident in her life… as she constantly allows Him to move through her. I know she prays for us. I know she takes her concerns to Him instead of trying to fix things on her own. In doing so she shows her respect for our relationship and her trust in a very real and very big God.

She always has been and continues to be an example to me, of the kind of mother and mother-in-law that I hope to become. I didn't get to choose her as a mother-in-law to me and grandmother to my children… but I would have. In a heartbeat I would have. When I count my blessings, she makes the list... every time.

Happy birthday Mama!
Love you

Monday, November 19, 2012

Dear Present Self

It is presently 3:45am, Sunday, August 11th and you hold a brand new baby in your arms. I know that you haven't slept for 72hrs and you are very much wishing to be elsewhere - in bed fast asleep, or somewhere just beyond this current season of your life where baby has turned your world upside down and needing all - perhaps more - than you have to give. I know that your body is aching and recovering and you have every physical right to not want to participate in the moments right in front of you. But there are also a few things that I want you to know, that you may think you know, but you don't really know, or else you wouldn't allow yourself to feel this way. So I'm just going to remind you…

In a matter of days… your baby won't need you to hold him every waking second. He won't need to hear the constant beating of your heart in order to feel safe in this world. He will adjust to life outside of your womb. He will need you less than he does now.

In a matter of weeks… you will be packing away outfits and booties that he no longer fits in and you will be able to leave him with a caregiver so you can start to get back to the rest of your life. That precious little baby won't need you quite as much as he does now.

In a matter of months… he will be eating solids and walking and talking. As much as you love to see him thrive you will miss the days you spent nursing him, carrying him around everywhere you went and trying to interpret his cries and coo's. He will need you less than he does now.

In a matter of years… his days will be spent studying, playing and working. He will be in quest of his identity and independence. He won't need you as you does now.

In less time than you think… he will be having babies of his own and only occasionally calling with questions. He won't need you as much as he does now.

I know these things because I am at already at the end of your life… when your best days are behind you. When that little baby doesn't need you the ways he does now. And I know that these exact moments that you are in a hurry to get through are the very moments that your heart will ache for. So right now, while you are in the midst of midnight feedings, changing dirty diapers and longing to just get past this season of life I beg of you, be present. Never forget that what you hold in your arms is nothing short of a miracle. Know that I am here and I am longing to hold his little fingers. I'll never get those moments back. So treasure them while you can. Turn off the distractions. Ignore the voices that try to tell you your fulfillment is elsewhere. Because right now he does need you. These precious moments that he won't even remember, were created especially for you to enjoy. Be thankful for every moment. They are among the greatest gifts you will have in life. Know that I am sitting here at the end of your life… and there is no where in the world I would rather be than where you are right now.

Sincerely,
Your Future self


Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Dear Baby Marconi

You are nearly here and I can hardly wait to meet you! I’m assuming you’ll have gotten your long legs from me, because they haven’t let up for about 5 months. I’m hoping you’ll get your daddy’s dimples. But I am absolutely certain that no matter how you come you will be perfect.

We have been working on your name for a long, long time. We both believe that there is great significance in a name and we wanted to give you one that would best suit our very best intentions of raising you. Easier said than done. You will soon learn that we both value our heritage as well. We finally made the decision to name you after a very special man, whom you will unfortunately not meet in this lifetime…

I called him Daddy for 25 years before he died. You would have called him Papoo and I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that you would have adored him. He would have rang the doorbell incessantly every time he arrived to play with you. He would have given you backflips into the pool and taught you how to play soccer. He would have made you listen to his crazy Greek music and taught you some very interesting dance moves. He would have been your best pal.

But as fun-loving as he was, the legacy he left behind is actually something of much more worth. The characteristics that made him a man worth remembering are the ones your dad and I hope to pass on to you. Our hope and prayer is that as his name continues on through you, so too will this legacy…

He was brave. He left his country when he was 17 years old in hopes of finding better opportunities than he would have had otherwise. He left everything he knew and made a new life for himself in a country where no one spoke his language, where no one knew his family and where he had no advantages whatsoever. He took a big risk and it paid off. He supported a family of seven and had always been able to give us more than enough.

He valued family. We used to laugh at the simplicity of his coined phrase, “Family is family.” Us kids in our far superior English-speaking skills couldn’t understand the depth in this. But in getting to know him as an adult we came to see how much he sacrificed to protect not only our family of seven, but every in-law, cousin, aunt and uncle we acquired as we grew. One of the best ways he did this was by showing us that there is freedom in forgiveness. In the big things and in the small things. Better still to find that the freedom comes much more to the one who is giving it than those receiving it.

He showed us the strength of a servant. He loved having a full house of people; family, friends and all their kids. He always served up huge feasts and he usually cleaned up the messes too. He hand-crafted our entire yard complete with vineyard covered patios, swings, a pool and a bi-level tree house. He served. He always put others first. He expected very little in return.

He found the treasure of simplicity. Daddy accumulated almost nothing of his own. (Except a HUGE VHS library of movies he taped from the TV) But he had his own area called “behind the bar” which was strictly off limits to us. We always believed that was where he kept his best hidden treats and secrets. After he passed away and we had to go through his things, we found that his best hidden secrets and most valuable items were simple things like cards we had written him when we were little, medals we had won, school books, family albums and a few things he had brought from Greece. He was a simple man who lived a life of true abundance.

He loved our mom. He was fiercely loyal to her. He respected her. He protected her heart. He never stopped trying to win her over. As a father of five girls, there is no better way that he could have loved us than by giving us a shining example of what we should look for and expect in a man. I am grateful to him for the part he played in making sure I ended up your dad. Your dad is such a good man. He loves me so well. And I know you will learn from him.

Aristotelis means “the best of the best” and that is truly what he was. Your dad and I hope all of the very best things in life for you too. As much as I loved my daddy and want to honour him there is one more thing I want you to know… It actually wasn’t my idea or my insistence that you have his name. It was actually your dad, who knew him only a few years, who adamantly refused any other name I suggested. Everybody loved your Papoo. Everybody will love you too... So welcome, baby "Telly."